James is in bed asleep and every time I walk in, he asks as if he's wide awake "Do you need help in there?". I need help. Oh, yes, do I NEED help. The last time I entered a new blog, was a little after I was just finding out that I was carrying another baby. The baby that has changed my whole life completely. The tears most definitely will never stop coming tonight and the only thing I can think of doing is write.
A year ago, I was helping decorate for a lunch at my church with my friend Jodie. My friend, Stephanie, had lost her baby. Who would have known that one year later, I would be living that same nightmare. The nightmare that seems like one long day. I remember how horrible I felt for her and what a wreck I was. I couldn't handle walking into the chapel and seeing a picture of the most beautiful little girl in her high chair, completely covered in her lunch. I thought of how I would feel if I had lost my Avery, who was a few months younger. My heart ached so badly for her parents who were dealing with this tragedy and loss of such a sweet little girl. The funeral was one I would never forget. Stephanie and John gave the most inspiring talks I had ever heard. They made me want to be a better mom to my kids. I was so jealous of their strength and their testimonies of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Their experience, I felt most definitely helped prepare me for what was about to happen in my life.
