Monday, June 1, 2009

Lettin' it Pour

James is in bed asleep and every time I walk in, he asks as if he's wide awake "Do you need help in there?". I need help.  Oh, yes,  do I NEED help.  The last time I entered a new blog,  was a little after I was just finding out that I was carrying another baby.  The baby that has changed my whole life completely.  The tears most definitely will never stop coming tonight and the only thing I can think of doing is write.  
A year ago, I was helping decorate for a lunch at my church with my friend Jodie.  My friend, Stephanie, had lost her baby.  Who would have known that one year later, I would be living that same nightmare.  The nightmare that seems like one long day.  I remember how horrible I felt for her and what a wreck I was.  I couldn't handle walking into the chapel and seeing a picture of the most beautiful little girl in her high chair, completely covered in her lunch.  I thought of how I would feel if I had lost my Avery, who was a few months younger.  My heart ached so badly for her parents who were dealing with this tragedy and loss of such a sweet little girl.  The funeral was one I would never forget.  Stephanie and John gave the most inspiring talks I had ever heard.  They made me want to be a better mom to my kids.  I was so jealous of their strength and their testimonies of the gospel of Jesus Christ.   
Their experience, I felt most definitely helped prepare me for what was about to happen in my life.

3 comments:

jodie@eighteen25 said...

I don't know how parents are able to even function through the normal everyday duties after losing a brand new baby. I watch from down the street in awe!

I never thanked you for letting me be a part of that day. The day after losing your precious baby as you held him in your arms with your little ones gathered around. It was such a sweet moment and I could feel the spirit so strong.

I'm here for you whenever you need me, day or night. Just a few doors down.

Megan said...

I just want you to know that I want to be like you when I grow up. I love you and will never be able to repay you for the example that you are to me.

jamie said...

i love you.